Eight tips for moving siblings in together

Moving your children into the same room can be a daunting process. You might be setting them up to room share as a necessity to create more space, you like the the idea of them sharing or perhaps it’s something they’ve asked for.

It’s a wonderful way to build sibling bonds but it can also be a challenging time. Here are some helpful tips to navigate this time.

1. Involve them in the process

Talk to them about it, involve them, let them come to pick colours if you’re redecorating, choose new bedding or new lights. This can be super empowering for them and can create excitement over any resentment.

2. Create separate spaces within the room

Where possible, allow the children to have their own spaces, whether that be giving them separate little areas for their belongings, or having something between their beds to create a bit of a divide.

3. Plan for quality one to one time

If you’re going from doing separate bed times to now doing them together, try to ensure you’re still giving each child their individual time with you.

4. Figure out a new routine that works for you

If your children are different ages, they might be on slightly different bed times. You can either tweak day time routines to align bed times or put the children down separately. If you’re putting them down separately it usually works to get the younger one down first and then the older one can creep in later on.

It can help to have a degree of flexibility - if number one is shattered and number two had a later nap then get number one down first and then number two - you may need to offer number two more support to ensure they don’t wake number one.

5. Tools - White noise and sleep training clocks

If you’re not already using white noise, introduce it. It can really help muffle sounds that each of them are making.

A sleep clock is a great way for them to see if it’s morning or night and to encourage them to stay in bed until it’s your desired wake time. Always ensure it’s a ‘sunset’ colour at night - if it’s blue at night it’s likely to disrupt sleep.

6. Stick to your boundaries

Have a clear, consistent bedtime routine and stick to it. Try to avoid any sleep crutches creeping in.

7. Don’t make the move until they’re ready

Obviously this is slightly going to be circumstantial and you may need to make the move earlier than you’d like to create more space, but, if possible, you want both children to be generally sleeping through the night by the time you make the move.

If you’ve got one who’s still waking multiple times a night then you’re more likely to either find that they wake the other up or you’re so anxious about that happening that you end up rushing to them too quickly and then introducing or reinforcing bad habits.

8. Ideally have a back-up for the nights that go wrong

It is likely there will be the odd disturbed night - It could be one of the children coming down with something, teething or having a developmental leap. In our experience, each child can make a huge amount of noise without disturbing the other, but if you’re finding they are waking each other up or you need to ensure one of them has slept well ahead of the day ahead then it’s good to have a back up sleep space. This could be a spare room you can use temporarily, a travel cot in your room or even co-sleeping. You ideally don’t want to use this back up sleep space for more than a night or two but it can be good to have somewhere to go for an ‘out’.

Our experience

We moved the girls in together when they were 18 months and nearly four. At that stage the younger one had been sleeping through for a while and actually it was the older one that was more likely to wake us. When her sister came along I think she felt left out and struggled to understand why she was in a room on her own when her sister was in with us (totally get it!). Even once her sister was in the spare room the older one would still come creeping in approximately every other night. Sometimes I wouldn’t notice and would just wake up with her in our bed but others I’d let her in for a cuddle then take her back to her bed.

When we moved them in together the older one got a new bed, a house bed which she loved feeling cocooned in whilst the younger one was still in her cot. Almost immediately, the every other night visits dropped to about once a week and now six months on we’re only disturbed by her about once every other week, if that. She loves the company and having her sister nearby.

We do have the odd night where I need to whisk the little one out for fear of her waking her older sister and making her tired for school. Although, she prefers to sleep in her cot rather than co-sleep so at the moment our solution if one of them is unwell and likely to have a disturbed night, we ask the older one if she wouldn’t mind sleeping in the spare room which gives the four us us the best chance of a good night’s sleep. This usually lasts for a night or two until everyone is well again.

If you are looking for any advice on room sharing, please don’t hesitate to get in touch today!